A Heathers X Iron Giant Fanfic
by Uncle Explosion
Summary: This is meant to be a humorous joke I wrote for my girlfriend, Karen for our 8 month anniversary. If you're reading this, I love you babe!


Hogarth was a young boy with big dreams. He always dreamt of going up into the stars to ever since he was a child. This all changed however, when he entered his Junior year of high school. "Why?" do you ask? This is all because he met a girl by the name of Veronica. She was part of one of the most notorious cliques in all of Westerburg High School, simply known as "The Heathers."

Since Hogarth's dad was a farm worker, he moved with the wind to better grow crops. Hogarth was already used to moving by Junior year, when he transferred from Kamiakin High School in Washington to Westerburg in Ohio. He had seen many faces, heard many tales, and only seen one great big metal giant that somehow, still no one knew about.

It was a Friday afternoon, and he shared fifth period with Veronica and her current boyfriend, JD.

"Ohmygod, JD." Veronica whispered over the teacher's muffled lectures about quantum mechanics, "I'm so fricken boooooored."

"I know right? Our teacher freaking blows. All of our classmates have the IQ of my pencil. What should we do about it?" JD whispered back. While Hogarth was no stranger to annoying students, he was not without a disciplined mind. The insides of his two kidneys grew red hot as he tried to contain his rage over his classmates' incessant mutterings. He tried his best to pay attention, until he overheard one single sentence that made him almost turn around.

"What if we...killed everyone?" He thought it came from Veronica, but upon hearing the reply,

"Yeah. I like that idea. When should we do it?" He could tell JD was the speaker.

Hogarth's thighs clenched in horror. He had the necessary skills to dispatch with this situation, but if he brought his giant war robot, people would find out. When he got home that day after school, the first thing he did was masturbate. Then he walked out the back to where he hid his tall, metal friend.

"'Eey, Shit-face! Open up!" Hogarth slurred in a New York accent as he banged on their barn door. The doors quickly opened to reveal the giant standing erect before him.

"You wanna gun down some bitches tomorrow after school?" Hogarth mumbled.

"I am Superman." The giant replied.

"Okay. Sounds good then."

A/N: Okay I know this is going to look stupid, but I'm gonna do a POV switch. I know every other printed and published work including George Orwell's masterpiece _1984_ doesn't do these, and I know y'all hate it. But let me ask you this! Is this comparable to every other printed and published work including George Orwell's masterpiece _1984_? No! I don't think so. So let me be a bad writer in peace, and not put this on the same level as every other printed and published work including George Orwell's masterpiece _1984_.

POV Switch: Veronica

Veronica was not a simple minded girl. She did like to have fun, party, get drunk, do a drugs, but she had much more to her than that. On the inside, she was a murderous psychopath who could only quench her bloodlust with… blood. She knew deep down she was a better person than that, but her boyfriend JD had her under mind control using his Poliwhirl (first edition) Pokemon card.

During her fifth period class on a Friday afternoon, she was finally pushed over the edge with the combination of her boring teacher, her boring classmates, and her boring-into-her-mind boyfriend.

"What if we...killed everyone?" JD whispered to her, malice in his voice. Veronica felt a pang of terror creep up her toenails and into her trachea. Brushing the fly off her, Veronica smiled and nodded her head robotically in agreement.

"Let's do it tomorrow after schoo-." JD said, taking a long sip from his slurpee. The bell then rang, and Veronica, trying to move JD after freezing himself mid-sentence, gave up and walked home alone. She was just leaving the building when she bumped into her classmate Hogarth. He jumped after turning around and noticing it was her. Laughing nervously and mumbling an apology, he struted away swiftly.

The next day, Veronica brought her infinity gauntlet to school, but hid it in her backpack so the principal wouldn't notice. When she met up with JD in first period, she asked,

"So… what did you bring today?"

"A lunch." JD replied. Veronica's eyes rolled so back into her head, they almost fell out the back of her head.

"No, for… you know, after school?" Veronica corrected JD.

"Oh. Well in that case," JD said, opening his backpack slightly "I brought a basketball I found in my garage." Veronica's eyes really did fall out the back of her head this time, and scrambling to pick them up, she angrily whispered back

"Are you crazy?!"

"Naw. Just creative." Said the psychopath.

"Oh brother." Veronica thought to herself. "This is gonna be fun."

POV Switch: Hogarth

Concealing his long metal giant in his pants wasn't easy, but he managed to keep it from popping out.

POV Switch: JD

It was already last period and JD was itching with anticipation. During fifth period, he noticed a fellow classmate, Hogarth occasionally throwing weird glances in his direction, but he thought nothing of it. He and Veronica had discussed their plan over lunch, and it was simple. They would meet up outside, Veronica would simply put on the gauntlet, and snap her fingers while JD would cover her with his basketball if anyone tried to interfere. As for the Heathers gang, Veronica had decided she didn't want to be a part of them anymore, and was going to snap them away with all the rest.

The bell rang, and they started to walk out of the classroom, but JD noticed they were being followed by Hogarth from a respectable distance.

"Veronica!" JD whispered over her shoulder, "That kid Hogarth is following us!"

"Shit!" Veronica whispered back. She took a sudden left, causing JD to almost trip over her feet.

"Are you nuts?" JD almost shouted as they rounded a corner with few students.

"We'll do it here. We'll do it live!" Veronica muttered back, quickly taking off her backpack and grabbing the infinity gauntlet.

It's glow was mesmerizing as she pulled it out and stared at it for a split second, before putting it on over her left hand past her wrist (she's left handed.)

"Stop right there, evildoer!" Shouted a voice from down the hallway. Hogarth stood there in a T-posing battle stance.

"I knew you were no good!" Shouted JD, readying his basketball.

"Ah, but I have come prepared too!" Hogarth quickly reached from behind his back to pull out his 100 ft tall giant.

The giant, now being in a cramped hallway, stood up and blew through the roof, sending rubble and bits drywall everywhere.

"Fire!" Hogarth cried, as the giant quickly transformed into attack mode and sent a volley of laser blasts down towards JD and Veronica. JD threw his basketball, but it instantly blew as the lasers came crashing down into the pair. Veronica, having only just put the gauntlet on, was not able to shield the attack.

POV Switch: Veronica

JD and Veronica took 2000 damage, as well as a "first strike" penalty of 1000 damage. With barely any HP left, Veronica powered up the glove with a flick o' da wrist and snapped her fingers. Instead of Hogarth turning to dust, all the walls, floors, and ceilings around them broke apart and flew towards Hogarth.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" JD yelled "We were supposed to kill the students, not the school."

"Fuck the school and everyone in it!" Veronica screamed, overpowered with rage and hate.

"Hey, you can only say the F-word once in a PG-13 movie!" Hogarth passively mumbled beneath the commotion. The giant powered up its massive chest energy ball as the rubble hit him, sending his health bar careening down into the negatives.

"NOOOOOOO!1" Shouted Hogarth. And with the giant's last breath, he sent the energy ball firing out of his chest towards the pair. JD, forgetting Veronica had a shield, instinctively leaped in front of her to protect her.

Time slowed to a crawl as the energy ball enveloped his body, small electric tendrils licking at his body, ripping holes in his shirt and pants. It was almost ironic, him being the only person vaporized today (spoiler alert). Veronica watched as her boyfriend turned a sickly shade of glowing green and turned slowly to sand. She almost chuckled. He never liked sand. Thought it was coarse, rough, irritating, and got everywhere. She almost thought he said

"Our love is god…" before being completely blasted backwards into where the opposite wall should have been, but instead exposed the suburban area nearby. After passing through a few houses, the green glow and what was left of JD was gone from her forever.

Her hypnosis spell wore off, and she fell to the ground completely stunned by what she had done throughout the 6 months she had known JD. Tears began streaming out of her eyes, and quickly pooling up in the small crater beneath her. In fact, the water level rose so quickly, it was already up to her forehead before she realized something was wrong. But by then, it was too late. Her lungs filled with the salty water, and before she knew it she had drowned.

"Damn, boi that's a sick-ass yote!" Hoghug said.


End file.
